So last Thursday evening my school opened its doors for parents and families to come and check out their students’ classrooms, meet teachers, and make a hectic shop through the book fair. This is the first year since I’ve been teaching that the middle school did an Open House instead of just a schedule pick up. I expected to meet parents, shake hands, show off my sweet bulletin boards, and explain a little bit about our school wide reading project. All of this happened, but I also learned a lot too.
It’s always interesting to see parents with their students, kind of like seeing which tree the apple really fell from; sometimes it is very surprising, sometimes not so much. One thing that is easy to forget when we see these students everyday is that we are only one portion of their lives. When they go home, sometimes they go to an entirely different world with different values, ethics, and priorities.
This year I have made an effort to acknowledge and celebrate those good students who maybe don’t get a lot of recognition otherwise. This has nothing to do with their home life, but maybe they aren’t the top of their class or involved in athletics. They are quiet in class and they’re just consistently good students. These students often get ignored and taken for granted. You can count on them to do the right thing, they aren’t struggling, so your attention goes elsewhere. Well, this year I’ve been writing little one page appreciation notes to these students saying something along the lines of, ” you have not gone unnoticed”, “thank you for being a good role model”, “I really enjoy having you in class”, and so on. Not everyone gets a note. They are special. I subtly slip it to these students without explanation and let them open and read them when they’re comfortable.
What does this have to do with Open House? One of the girls who I gave a note to brought her mother with her to open house. We shook hands, introduced ourselves, then the mother swooped me up in a tearful Mama hug and thanked me for everything I’d done for her daughter. I must’ve had a deer in the headlights look on my face because then she reminded me of the note I wrote her daughter. It seemed like such a small gesture on my part, but clearly it resonated with this family. Before I knew it, we were both a little teary eyed and spewing how much we truly appreciated each other’s support. These are the moments you dream of when you become a teacher.
Before I knew it, we were both a little teary eyed and spewing how much we truly appreciated each other’s support. These are the moments you dream of when you become a teacher.
On the other hand, you also have some families who come in to Open House for a quick parent teacher conference thinly disguised as a meet and greet. Before you learn their names, they are asking you about missing assignments, behavioral issues, and how their students can make up missing work. I reminded them of classroom policies, which I had already emailed and sent home in a note that they signed, and hoped for a quick move on. Sometimes I didn’t get so lucky.
Remember that awesome classroom reading culture shift and my fancy pinterest-inspired bulletin board? If not, do a quick couple of back clicks and check out the pic at least on that blog post. It is not going as planned. One. One student wanted to participate. So, I had to sweeten the deal and incentivize some more students to add their book selfie to the bulletin board. With a test on the near horizon, I told students who added to the bulletin board that they could use a notecard as a cheat sheet on the test. During Open House, I also shared this with parents of students who may be struggling and may not have communicated with parents about this opportunity.
Some parents totally understood when I explained that the goal was to celebrate literacy. Others simply repeated my ideas back to me in a tone that made me feel deflated and foolish. Bring a picture of their kid…..reading a book…..why? And no matter how I tried to explain, it they either didn’t get it, or wouldn’t get it. However, for every less than perfect conversation I had with a parent, I had far more that encouraged me and made me feel like I had others on my team to ensure a child’s success.
My favorite middle school quotes this week:
“If I had a superpower, it would be to mute some people’s vocal cords because some people just don’t realize that they’re being plain rude.”
– 7th Grade Girl
“My superpower would be to read people’s minds, but only when I want to. Sometimes you just don’t wanna know…..”
-7th Grade Boy
What I learned is that parental outreach, sharing how much you enjoy their student, updates on what is going on in the class, is not something to dodge or put off. The mileage for your time and effort is worth it, even though it doesn’t always go as planned. And who knows? It may even pay off in subsequent years. This year I was very happy to see a familiar family drop by. I have spent four out of my five years teaching with one of their children in my class. Not only were they checking in, but catching me up on their older students. They know I’m invested; I know they will do what they can to support my efforts in the classroom. As intimidating as parents can be, building that rapport with them is just as vital as building it with the students.
Child Goose Chase 